All the Time in the World
by ParadiseorPurgatory
Summary: Blaine and Kurt's relationship has gotten off to a slow start but when you have all the time in the world does it really matter. When a secret threatens to tear them apart will it make them stronger or ruin their relationship forever?
1. Stolen Kisses

**A/N**

_Hi guys, so this is my first fanfiction. I would love any feedback you'd be willing to give._

_- M rating is for later chapters, boy x boy this chapter, but it's Klaine so i guess i don't really have to tell you that. Possible spoilers for season 2 of Glee and film Moulin Rouge. I don't own Glee, I'm just borrowing my favourite charcters for a while.**  
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**Stolen Kisses**

So Kurt and Blaine have been dating for three months. Things have pretty much been like any PG romance film with a lot of chaste kisses and holding hands. Blaine is fine with this, of course. He loves Kurt more than he can say and if a small peck on the lips now and then is all Kurt is willing to give then Blaine is willing to take it. What they are doing right now, however, is decidedly un PG.

It started out innocently enough with Blaine and Kurt watching a movie, _Moulin Rouge_, on Kurt's bed. Something they had done many times before, even previous to their relationship upgrade. Blaine's back was pressed comfortably against the headboard and Kurt was resting in the older boy's lap, cradled between Blaine's outstretched legs. As Christian and Satine serenaded each other on-screen Blaine surreptitiously slid his hands under the hem of Kurt's shirt, gently stroking his boyfriend's silky smooth flesh. Usually Kurt flinched and pulled away, but today he relaxed further into Blaine's embrace, a soft sigh escaping from his lips.

A smile quirked the corners of Blaine's lips. He was glad that his Kurt was finally beginning to relax when it came to more intimate physical contact. Ever since Burt's sex talk Blaine was worried Kurt had been scarred for life. He knew Kurt was more into the romance side of relationships, but that didn't mean everything physical had to be off the table, did it? Blaine mused that maybe if he could show Kurt just how good the physical stuff could be, Kurt might be a bit more willing. Sadly Blaine has so far had no luck. Every time he deepened their innocent kisses, or touched the younger boy too freely, Kurt would pull away.

As the elephant medley finished with a declaration of love in the form of Whitney Houston's _I Will Always Love You_, Kurt shifted almost imperceptibly in Blaine's lap, rubbing just slightly against the area through which all Blaine's teenage hormones were fuelled. A small moan escaped Blaine's lips. He hoped that Kurt hadn't heard this, but no such luck. Kurt sprang out of his lap with the look of a startled colt. Blaine thought he was going to bolt for the door.

Eyes shining with what appeared to be embarrassment, Kurt made to stand up. Blaine grabbed Kurt's hands to prevent his hasty exist and reeled him in, pressing a kiss to Kurt's rosy lips. All of a sudden Kurt's body language changed. Instead of gently extracting himself from Blaine's embrace like normal, he threw himself into the kiss with enthusiastic gusto. Blaine let out a chuckle of surprise as Kurt broke the kiss, ashamedly looking down.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Blaine wasn't having any of that. He raised a hand to the younger boy's face and tilted his chin until blue-green eyes met hazel.

"Sweetie, look at me." Blaine requested as Kurt tried to pull away. "I love you. I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you more than anything in this moment actually. You look so beautiful." Kurt blushed, his cheeks turning a delicate pink, endearing Blaine all the more.

"I just – I'm not good at this. I – I don't know what to…" Kurt trailed off.

"Do?" Blaine supplied.

Kurt nodded.

"Is that what you've been worried about. You didn't want to get physical in case you did it wrong?" Blaine burst out laughing. I was so ridiculous and so like Kurt that he couldn't help it.

Kurt roughly pulled out of his arms and Blaine's laughter died instantly. "Well there's only so much you can learn from pamphlets," Kurt said indignantly. "Not all of us can be perfect at everything, Mr Dapper."

"I'm far from perfect, Kurt." Blaine subtly adjusted his shirt, tugging his sleeves down so they fully covered his wrists before sitting on the bed.

"Regardless, you know so much more about this stuff. I don't want you to leave when you find out how bad I am at it."

Blaine huffed out an incredulous breath at Kurt's last sentence. "Kurt, firstly, I barely know more about any of this then you. Let me remind you of the GAP store incident. Secondly, if you think I would leave you just because you were bad at kissing or whatever, you don't know me at all. And thirdly –"

Blaine cut himself off, lunging at Kurt and pulling the squealing boy into a long deep kiss. "Our first kiss was magical, made of awesome. I loved it and you know I loved it. It was perfect. How could you think you did a bad job?"

"I –"

Blaine raised a questioning eyebrow urging Kurt to continue.

"Okay, maybe I'm not that bad. But that was a heat of the moment thing. All passion and no finesse."

"That's what made it such a great kiss."

"I've been silly haven't I?" Kurt blushed again, this time at the realisation of his own stupidity.

"You have," Blaine chuckled. "And now – " he continued with a suggestive smirk, " – that you've stopped being silly, can I please kiss my boyfriend?"

"Yes."

Still in each other's arms, Blaine tilted his head up slightly to press another kiss to his boyfriend's luscious lips. The kiss soon became heated again, and this time Kurt didn't pull away. Kurt's lips parted slightly and Blaine licked an inquisitive tongue along Kurt's plump bottom lip, begging for entrance. Kurt complied and they began an awkward exploration of each other's mouths before settling into a steady rhythm.

Still fused at the lips Blaine guided Kurt toward the bed again and toppled them backward. They hit the mattress with a bounce, Kurt's slender body pressed against Blaine's from top to toe. They kissed for a good five minutes before the necessity of oxygen broke them apart. Kurt rolled off of Blaine, snuggling into his side as they regained their breath. After a few minutes Kurt broke the pleasant silence.

"Okay, now I feel really silly. We could have been doing that the whole time?" Kurt blushed again and Blaine nuzzled against his pink cheek.

They began kissing again. Slower this time, more gentle. Blaine placated at the fact that the boy in his arms was not going to run away again. After an indeterminable amount of time Blaine finally broke away, summoning a small whine from Kurt at the loss of contact, and answered Kurt's question.

"Don't worry, we have all the time in the world."

Kurt smiled as on-screen Christian sobbed, clutching a dead Satine in his arms.


	2. Past Scars, Future Dramas

**Past Scars, Future Dramas**

Blaine is happy to admit the physical stage of his and Kurt's relationship is going well. True – they haven't had more than a few steamy make-out sessions, but Blaine doesn't want to push Kurt too far too fast. He needs to be the perfect gentleman, which is kind of hard (no pun intended) when Kurt's hand is –

"Oh Kurt," Blaine moaned against the younger boy's lips as Kurt brushed a hand up Blaine's thigh getting closer and closer to his crotch. Almost stroking Blaine through his jeans and yeah, gentleman is fine when Kurt's across the other side of the room and Blaine's eyes are closed and there's a bag over his head, but Kurt is right there. Now all Blaine can think is fuckfuckfuckfuck, 'cause even though Kurt's barely touching him, it feels so good.

Kurt had become a lot more confident in the past few weeks after a particularly heavy make-out session became the cause of both boys having to change their underwear. Since then Kurt's confidence has sky-rocketed and he's now very sure in his kissing ability knowing he can transform Blaine from dapper gentleman into whimpering mess with a few simple touches. So when Kurt starts to unbutton Blaine's shirt he is, needless to say, extremely surprised when the older boy jerks away from his searching fingertips.

"Blaine, what the hell? Have we reversed our roles in this relationship or something? I thought I was the prude?"

"You were not a prude and even if you were you're definitely not anymore." Blaine chuckled and Kurt joined in, but Blaine's next statement abruptly sobered them both. "There's something I haven't told you, Kurt."

"You're not going through the 'Oh, I think I'm bi' thing again, because I don't think I could handle that," Kurt joked.

"No it's –"

Blaine couldn't find the words that were supposed to come next. One of the reasons he had been glad about his and Kurt's slow-pace relationship was the fact that there was a secret he hadn't told Kurt. A secret he probably should have disclosed to Kurt a long time ago, even before they began dating. Blaine sighed, fingering his shirtsleeves trying to decide how best to start this depressing conversation.

"Blaine," Kurt put a finger under the elder boy's chin just as Blaine had done to Kurt a few short weeks ago, "just tell me. Trust works both ways. You didn't run out on me, I'm not going to run out on you. Promise."

"Maybe you should revoke your promise for the time being," Blaine sighed again, knowing he was about to relive a chapter of his life he would rather forget. Kurt pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, and through it Blaine was able to muster the courage he needed to begin his story. Uh, courage – one simple word with so much power. Kurt had enormous amounts of courage, Blaine may have helped Kurt to find it, but it was really there all along. Blaine on the other hand…

Blaine pulled slightly away from Kurt and began to talk, never meeting the younger boys eyes for more than a second at a time. "So I told you things got really bad at my old school – before I transferred to Dalton."

Kurt nodded, he remembered all too well the horrific story Blaine had told him after Kurt asked him to prom. How Blaine and the boy he had gone with to a dance with were severely beaten by homophobic bullies.

Blaine continued – "What I didn't tell you was that all that hate and abuse was going on for a long time before the dance. Now I'm not trying to undermine what happened with Karofsky because I know how awful that was for you, believe me I know. But what happened to me was worse – a lot worse."

Blaine's face darkened as his mind raced back to a time years past before he transferred to the sanctuary of Dalton. When he spoke again his voice was clipped and short, not at all like his usual warm tone that Kurt loved so much.

"Everyday I would be greeted by 'good morning fag, want to suck my dick'. Walking through hallways I had to avoid numerous attempts to try and trip me. I was shoved into lockers, had my possessions stolen on a daily basis and was practically thrown out of the cafeteria every time I would try to sit in there to eat my lunch. But I learned to ignore it and go about my day as best I could. I didn't confront the bullies; I never had as much courage as you. In fact I never told anyone – well not for a long time anyway.

"Then one day it all came to a head and I ended up on the receiving end of a punch from every member of the football team. My crime: being a dirty faggot who was trying to convert everyone into my filthy ways by attempting to join the football team. I didn't get in. it hurt so much that I couldn't find acceptance anywhere. You had Glee club, I didn't have anywhere to turn.

"As the abuse went on I tried to shut it out. I figured if I didn't let it in it couldn't hurt me and I was right to an extent. But the more of my emotions I held back, the less I could feel. Soon I couldn't feel anything – I felt like I would never feel anything again. I sank into depression."

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt whimpered, suspecting the direction the other boy's story was going to take.

"I just wanted to feel," Blaine almost sobbed. Kurt wrapped his arms around the other boy, letting Blaine rest his head on Kurt's shoulder.

"I have a lot of scars," Blaine whispered apologetically. "If you want to run I won't blame you, I should have told you about all this before we started dating. I promise I won't be mad if you want to break things off. Don't feel like you're obligated to stay just because I'm damaged goods."

"Blaine, your past has made you who you are today and that's who I love. I'm not going to leave. You helped me through my troubles; you still help me through everything. Let me do the same for you."

"I love you too." Blaine pressed his lips to Kurt's neck. He now knew what all that abuse was for, without it he never would have gathered enough good karma to find someone as perfect as Kurt.

They broke their embrace and Kurt asked the question Blaine knew he inevitably would.

"Can I see them?"

Blaine tilted his head slightly. Appraising the question even though he knew it was coming. He reluctantly nodded before undoing the buttons of his long-sleeved shirt with trembling fingers. Blaine shrugged the shirt off his shoulders but left his forearms covered. He looked up at Kurt who was staring at him, transfixed.

This was the first time Kurt had seen Blaine with his shirt off; he was beautiful. All toned muscles and tanned skin. Kurt almost didn't notice when Blaine shook the shirt off his arms. Kurt swallowed a gasp. The skin of Blaine's forearms was littered with stark white scars, all of them self-inflicted.

Blaine observed Kurt's shocked reaction. The younger boy was sitting stock-still, gaze intensely trained on Blaine's marred flesh. Blaine made to cover his arms, but at that moment Kurt sprang to life, blue-green eyes snapping upward to meet Blaine's hazel ones. Eyes still locked with Blaine's, Kurt reached toward him, grabbing his forearms and stroking the bumpy flesh.

"You're beautiful," Kurt whispered, echoing the phrase Blaine usually reserved for him – and he meant it. The scarred flesh provided another layer to who Blaine was. The suffering he had undergone and the pain he lived through. It made him so much more human. Ever since Kurt had met Blaine the older boy had been like a mentor, someone who always said and did the right thing. While Kurt wished that Blaine had never felt like he had no other option but to cut himself, it made Blaine seem so much more real. Less like a fairytale. It made Kurt love the boy in front of him even more.

"I love you." Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine's lips and the older boy smiled.

"Thank you for not leaving."

"You'll never get rid of me."

Blaine chuckled and pulled Kurt in, letting their lips meet once again. The scars were a thing of the past now. He and Kurt had a great future to look forward to.


	3. First Time Jitters

**First Time Jitters**

To say Kurt was nervous was the understatement of the year – but it was a good nervous. It wasn't like when he was frightened about performing a duet with Blaine at Regionals, or the way he was scared when it was on his fashionable shoulders to kick the game-winning goal for the McKinley football team. And he certainly wasn't terrified the way he had felt when Karofsky had threatened him with bodily harm. No these were happy nerves. He could count the headache and the fact that he felt like he wanted to throw up down to first time jitters. Kurt wanted to do this, didn't he?

Blaine was sat next to Kurt on the bed, pressing soft kisses against Kurt's throat and sucking marks onto his collarbone. He could feel the younger boy's fast pulse as he licked a line up Kurt's neck before nuzzling his jaw. "Kurt, honey, I can feel your pulse racing. Take a deep breath and clam down. It's not like we haven't done this before."

Kurt inhaled and exhaled with only a slight hitch. It was true, they had gone this far before. Actually they had gone as far as regular handjobs and the odd blowjob – but this was something else. Every other time Kurt had told Blaine exactly how far he was willing to go and they had both stuck to those plans to the letter. Now there was no holding back – it was called going all the way for a reason.

"I know," Kurt replied, his voice slightly more high pitched than usual. "I'm just a little nervous."

"Understandable." Blaine pulled back from his current lavishing of Kurt's smooth jaw and looked right into his eyes, aiming to get his point across. "If you don't want to do this we can stop. I would never force you into anything you're uncomfortable with."

"I know," Kurt repeated, and lightly pressed their lips together. "I'm ready," he said with more surety than he was feeling a minute ago. Kurt loved Blaine so much, this would just be an extension of their love. Giving themselves to each other would just stand to deepen their feelings further – if that was possible.

Blaine pressed their lips together one last time before hopping off the bed to get supplies. He quickly rummaged through his bag finally unveiling a packet of condoms and bottle of lube, which a very disgruntled David had unwillingly helped him pick out earlier that day. He placed them on the bedside table before returning to Kurt who had been watching him closely the entire time. A slightly awed look graced Kurt's beautiful face as if he couldn't believe this was actually happening. Blaine was having a hard time trying to comprehend the fact himself. That this glorious man in front of him was actually his and that they were about to have sex for the first time.

Blaine jumped back on the bed with a vigorous enthusiasm that made Kurt chuckle before his laughter was cut off by a heated kiss – Blaine's tongue begging for permission to enter his mouth. Kurt complied and their tongues tangled lazily in contrast to their rapidly exploring hands, which were currently shucking each other's clothing. Blaine fumbled Kurt's buttons opens, knowing his boyfriend would kill him if he wrecked his – probably expensive – outfit.

When Kurt's shirt was on the floor Blaine pulled away to tug off his own, hesitating only slightly before pulling the long-sleeved polo over his head. Kurt was used to Blaine's scars by now, but they still gave him a slight shock every time they were unveiled. It was like a secret that almost no one else knew, and it made Kurt feel special and loved that Blaine trusted him enough to reveal his dark past.

Hands roamed gently over newly exposed skin as each boy gently examined the other. Memorising every plane, contour and muscle exposed under porcelain and tanned flesh. Blaine rubbed his hands over Kurt's chest, drawing a slight moan before allowing his hands to rest on Kurt's hips. Kurt gave an imperceptible nod, giving Blaine permission to slowly slide the silky black slacks off his narrow hips.

With shaking hands Kurt undid Blaine's belt buckle and unzipped his jeans. Both boys stood and kicked their respective pants off from where they were tangled around their ankles. They looked at each other and burst out laughing, flopping on the bed and cuddling up to each other. Releasing some of the tension and anxiety that had recently graced the room.

Then Blaine's hands were on Kurt's soft, smooth skin again – eliciting a small moan. Kurt fused their mouth together and they kissed with more fervour than before. Tangling their legs and rolling across the bed until Blaine ended up on top – holding his body weight above Kurt so he didn't crush him, but close enough so they were still chest to chest.

Kurt let out a gasp as Blaine reached between them and palmed his throbbing erection. Blaine sat up and straddled Kurt's waist, running his hands down the younger boy's flank before bending to press a tender kiss to Kurt's rosy lips. He continued kissing down Kurt's body – paying particular attention to his boyfriend's nipples making Kurt squirm underneath him – before stopping at the waistband of Kurt's underwear. Blaine lifted his lust filled eyes to catch Kurt's watching as he gave another small nod. Blaine removed Kurt's briefs, marvelling at the now familiar, but no less impressive, sight of Kurt in all his glory. Blaine removed his own underwear so Kurt wouldn't feel awkward before taking Kurt into his mouth and lavishing the other boy with his tongue.

Kurt moaned and whimpered above him – the sounds mingled with oaths and Blaine's own name. Blaine loved Kurt like this, when the younger boy would let go and just feel. Kurt was always so guarded with everyone else. Blaine felt privileged to be able to see him like this – flustered, sweaty, messed up hair. Kurt falling apart under Blaine's ministrations was as much of a turn on to Blaine as Kurt's body, maybe even more so.

"Fuck, Blaine." Kurt moaned. "You need to stop or I'm not gonna last."

Blaine hummed around Kurt's erection making his boyfriend let out another sexy moan, before pulling of with an obscene pop. He smiled a Kurt who smiled weakly back and kissed his way up Kurt's body again, arriving at his lips and drawing Kurt in for a long kiss. Kurt twisted his fingers into Blaine's loose curls, free – for once – from the copious amounts of gel he usually used to tame it. Blaine stroked a thumb over Kurt's cheekbone before pulling away and gazing into Kurt's eyes.

"Are you ready," Blaine breathed against Kurt's lips.

"Yeah."

They had decided beforehand that Kurt was to bottom. Blaine had offered to, but Kurt was sure this was how he wanted his first time to be. So Blaine snatched the lube from the bedside table and began slicking up his fingers, his hand gently massaging Kurt's entrance while distracting him with kisses at the same time. Kurt gasped into Blaine's mouth when the older boy slowly slid in one finger. The feeling was not unpleasant per say, and not painful just yet, but it definitely felt weird.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked, expression conveying his worry.

"I'm fine, keep going." Kurt replied, for Blaine had stilled his movements.

Blaine continued and introduced another digit when Kurt gave him the go ahead, gently scissoring his fingers and stretching Kurt. Kurt bit his lip as Blaine continued to smother his face with kisses, fingers still working. Yep there was the pain, but it wasn't so bad. And then Blaine's fingers brushed against that area and Kurt's hips bucked off the bed, lips parting allowing a low moan to escape. Blaine continued rubbing that area and added another finger.

Kurt could feel the burn of being stretched, but it was a good burn and every time Blaine brushed his prostate a feeling of pleasurable fire rushed through his veins.

"I'm ready."

Blaine nodded. Kurt heard a packet rustling as Blaine put on a condom and slicked himself with lube. Blaine entered slowly, giving Kurt time to relax and adjust. Kurt bit his lip again, trying to stop the whimper of pain.

"I'm sorry, sweetie."

"It's okay, just keep going." Kurt new it was only going to get worse before it got better. And then Blaine bottomed out, fully inside Kurt, both boys gasping fiercely as the new sensations washed over them. Blaine started to move – slowly at first and then faster. He changed his angle slightly aiming for –

"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck – Blaine." Kurt all but screamed as Blaine's strokes hit his prostate. And yeah, now he could see what all the fuss of sex was about.

XxXx

It didn't last long, all the pent up sexual tension took care of that. But it was perfect because it was each other. After they had cleaned up and shared some soft post-coital kisses Blaine fell asleep, sprawled across Kurt's chest. Kurt lay awake, thinking things over while tracing the scars visible on Blaine's arms, faintly illuminated by the dull moonlight. The first time jitters long forgotten, Kurt revelled in the feeling of love and being loved by the beautiful boy he now held in his arms.

**A/N** – _Hope you guys liked this chapter. Who knew writing smut was so difficult. Any feedback is welcome and appreciated. _


	4. Coitus Interruptus

**Coitus Interruptus**

"Oh fuck, Kurt. That feels so good."

Blaine writhed on the bed as Kurt continued to suck and lick his erection, vainly attempting to hold down his boyfriend's bucking hips.

Ever since they had sex for the first time three weeks ago Kurt and Blaine had not been able to get enough of each other.

Kurt, a lot more adventurous and a lot less nervous than he had been on their first night together fixed his gaze on Blaine. Kurt smoothed a hand up Blaine's chest and delicately stroked his jaw, reaching higher to flutter his fingers across Blaine's cheekbone, urging the older boy to open his eyes. Finally Kurt's blue eyes met with lust blown hazel ones, a look enough to send Blaine into climax.

Kurt pulled off and stroked Blaine through his aftershocks until he became too sensitive. He crawled up Blaine's chest and planted a sloppy kiss on his boyfriend's lips. Tongues playing lazily, Blaine could taste himself in Kurt's mouth.

They had wanted to keep sex something special and only be intimate when they were alone, but again, teenage hormones managed to ruin best laid plans. Which is why they were rushing through this make-out, blowjob, sex session before Burt and Carole came home. Finn was conveniently at Puck's so Blaine and Kurt did have the house to themselves for the next half hour.

"Take off the rest of your clothes. I'll grab the lube and condoms." Kurt murmured into Blaine's mouth, pressing their lips together once more before hopping off the bed.

Blaine knew the risk they were taking by doing this so close to the time when the rest of Kurt's family were meant to get home. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask, 'do you think we should be doing this now?' but he pushed those thoughts aside. Better not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Blaine shucked his pants and underwear, already around his ankles from his and Kurt's previous escapade. His shirt also came off with barely a hint of the ingrained hesitation.

Kurt returned after carefully ridding himself of his own clothes and folding his expensive outfit, sighing fondly when he turned to find Blaine's rumpled clothes littering his floor. Grabbing the supplies hidden within his bedside table under several Vouge magazines Kurt returned to the bed and a now naked Blaine.

Kurt placed the bottle of lube in Blaine's hand and the older boy immediately started preparing Kurt, aware of the short time line. Blaine had discovered he liked bottoming just as much as Kurt seemed to, but he was happy to top today. After working in three hurried fingers in the space of a few minutes Blaine deemed Kurt stretched enough. Already hard again Blaine rolled on a condom before positioning himself at Kurt's entrance. Both boys let out load moans and Blaine pushed in and bottomed out.

"Fuck, Blaine, move already." Kurt whined and Blaine immediately started moving his hips. Another low moan worked its way out of Kurt's throat encouraging Blaine to go faster.

"Oh, Kurt."

"Blaine."

Each boy chanted the others name as they worked up a frantic rhythm.

"Kurt can you help me sew on this button? The darn thing fell off my favourite dress shirt and I'm going out with Carol tonight – Oh my God!" The shirt dropped from Burt's fingers, broken button forgotten at the sight of his son, naked and in the middle of having sex with another man.

Kurt and Blaine froze when they heard Burt's voice coming from the door they hadn't thought to lock. A second of frozen shock felt like it lasted several hours until Kurt abruptly pushed Blaine off of him – the older boy falling from the bed in his rush to cover up, landing on the hardwood floor with a loud thud. Kurt let out a high-pitched squawk, blindly snatching up a sheet and scrambling under it while simultaneously throwing Blaine a pillow to preserve his boyfriend's modesty.

Burt was still immobile standing just inside the door watching as his son and Blaine scrambled to cover themselves up, both blushing furiously. Kurt watched his father in horror as the colour slowly drained from Burt's face, the opposite of the cherry red Kurt suspected his own must be. Burt didn't look like he was breathing and Kurt was worried he might be having another heart attack.

"Dad?" Kurt tried.

Burt spluttered and the colour returned to his face. Kurt let out a sigh of relief.

Burt voice was faint and he didn't make eye contact with either boy as he choked out, "Upstairs, now." He left.

Kurt flopped on the bed as the adrenaline of being caught left him. He flipped onto his stomach and crawled to the edge of the bed, glancing down at his boyfriend. Blaine was sitting on the floor holding the pillow Kurt had thrown at him over his crotch. His face completely blank.

"Blaine?"

No answer.

"Blaine," Kurt said again, a little louder. Blaine whipped his head around and met Kurt's questioning gaze briefly before looking down again, a blush rising on his cheeks. "We better get go upstairs."

They dressed quickly and made their way up the stairs from Kurt's basement bedroom in silence.

**A/N** _ - I apologise for taking so long to update. Exam revision is a bitch, but it's the holidays now so I promise to get more writing done. I couldn't remember if Kurt still has his basement bedroom or not, but for the purposes of this story he does. As always reviews are encouraged and greatly appreciated. _


	5. Safe Sex and STI Tests

**Safe Sex and STI Tests**

Kurt and Blaine were sitting awkwardly on the couch. They weren't touching and they were looking anywhere but at each other. Both were also trying to avoid eye-contact with Burt who was currently sitting stiffly in an armchair, facing them like an interrogator would face a suspected criminal.

Burt broke the tense and uncomfortable silence. "Well I can't say I wasn't surprised, but I guess I knew this was going to happen sooner or later."

"What, walking in on us having sex – Ow." Blaine jumped as Kurt abruptly kicked him in the shin – not an easy feat when they were sitting side by side – and stopped talking immediately, taking his boyfriend's decidedly unsubtle hint to shut up.

Burt looked to Kurt and Blaine like he wanted to be anywhere but here, doing anything but this and having to hear anything but the fact that his son was having sex. "No," he replied shakily, "the fact that you two have become intimate. The walking in part – let's just say I would die a happy man if it never happened again." He said, confirming the boys' suspicion of the 'anywhere but here' mentality. "Obviously I wished you had come to me first before you started… Anyway, now that you have…" Burt trailed off, obviously at a loss for how to continue with what he wanted to say.

Blaine chanced a glance over at Kurt, noting his boyfriend's still sex-mussed hair. That, and the light blush still painting his cheeks made him look insanely hot. No, bad Blaine, you cannot have those kind of thoughts now. Focus. Kurt's gaze was still fixed on his father and Blaine looked away from his extremely hot boyfriend and returned his attention to the situation at hand.

Burt seemed to find his words and they all but rushed out of him like a white-water rapid. "I know that you two are serious about each other and that this level of intimacy is the natural next stage in your relationship. I guess I just expected that it would take a bit longer with Kurt's aversion to all things sex and all – not that I want Kurt to have an aversion, he's still my boy and I guess I'm glad that he's getting some, but that just sounds wrong in my head. What I'm trying to say – and by this I'm not implying anything – I just want you guys to be safe. And I think I noticed that you were using condoms even though I'm going to pretend like that scene never, ever happened. Again I'm getting off topic, but I'd like both of you to get tested."

Burt gasped in a large inhale of air and collapsed back against the armchair. Kurt didn't think he had ever heard his father say so much at one time. The words didn't quite register at first, but as the sentences rapidly connected in his mind –

"Wait, you want us to get tested for STI's." Kurt asked unbelievingly, giving Blaine a surprised glance. Blaine looked just as confused as him. They had expected a lecture, not this. "Dad, we – Blaine and I – we're each other's firsts. We were both virgins. Neither of us have got any diseases."

"Be that as I may, I would give me piece of mind."

"But Dad –"

"Kurt, I'm being firm on this. I don't want either of you having," he forced out the next word, " – sex again until you've been tested."

"But –" Kurt began again, but this time Blaine cut him off by grabbing his hand.

"Fine, Mr Hummel. If it will give you piece of mind."

Kurt glared at Blaine as Burt sighed in relief that the conversation was over. Kurt mused that Blaine seemed to have found his dapper self again after the shock of a few minutes ago. Blaine always seemed to be able to defuse any situation.

XxXx

Three days and no sex later, Blaine and Kurt were sitting in the town's one clinic awaiting their test results. Kurt had been adamant on breaking their appointment and that Burt would never know because he didn't want to come anyway, but Blaine had convinced him they might as well just do it. Get it over with, besides they knew neither of them had anything so it didn't matter anyway. If it would allow Burt to let them have sex again Blaine was all for it. Kurt unwillingly agreed.

However, he wouldn't be the Kurt Blaine knew and loved if he didn't complain a little bit. "I don't know why my father thinks this is even necessary. It's a waste of time, do you know we could be at the mall right now. There's a sale on and everything."

"Kurt," Blaine silenced his boyfriend with a kiss. "Just think as soon as we get this over with…" he trailed off suggestively.

"Fine." But if I miss out on a sale then you're paying the excess. Blaine chuckled.

"Mr Hummel?" A grey haired doctor with an air of slight annoyance at the sight of the two boys clutching each other enquired of them.

"That's me."

"If you could come this way I have your test results."

Kurt followed the doctor, glancing back at Blaine who gave him a thumbs up. Once Kurt was out of sight Blaine focussed his attention on the various posters tacked on the walls, all detailing either the various stages of pregnancy and childbirth or listing the various STI's and their gruesome symptoms.

"Mr Anderson," a female doctor with a kind face enquired of Blaine. He gave a nod. "If you could come with me."

The doctor led Blaine down a narrow hallway and into her sterile, but somehow still cosy and inviting, office. "Take a seat," she said. Blaine sat in the reasonably comfortable chair as the doctor sat behind her desk. She filed through a few pieces of paper, eventually finding the correct one, before addressing Blaine again. "I'm Dr Stevens, I have your test results today." Her smile wavered slightly.

"Okay." Blaine produced, slightly nervous.

"Blaine – may I call you Blaine?" he nodded again and she continued. "Blaine, I'm afraid I have some rather unfortunate news for you."

Blaine's brow furrowed, wondering what the hell could be wrong with him. He'd never even had sex before Kurt. Unless there was something Kurt wasn't telling him – but no that was impossible. Kurt didn't even want to talk about sex until a few months ago.

"Blaine," Dr Stevens began again, interrupting his internal babble. "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but your tests uncovered something." She looked sad. "You tested positive for HIV." She lapsed into silence, allowing Blaine to absorb this information.

"HIV? I have AIDS?" Blaine asked. His brain was frozen not allowing him to absorb the information, just repeat her words.

"Not AIDS, at least not yet. You're HIV is in a latent form at the moment, you have no active symptoms. And if you continue to look after you're health and not engage in any risky behaviour you can still lead a relatively normal life – "

"HIV." Blaine said again, cutting her off. "How – Oh my Good, Kurt! What about Kurt did he – or did I get – no. How?"

"Kurt is fine, he hasn't contracted you're HIV. But from now on you're going to have to be a lot more careful if you intend to continue this relationship. We have excellent counsellors who specialise in supporting people in this predicament."

Her words washed over Blaine as he tried to come to terms with her earlier statement. He had HIV. He could infect Kurt at any time. He had to break things off with Kurt, but he couldn't. "I love Kurt."

"I know you do, honey." Blaine blinked up at Dr Stevens from where she was now kneeling by his side, rubbing soothing circles onto his back as his eyes clouded with tears.

XxXx

"What took you so long?" Kurt asked Blaine as he re-entered the waiting room.

Blaine looked at Kurt, slumped into an uncomfortable chair, looking more beautiful than anyone had a right to. He couldn't tell him. Not yet. He would but not yet. Maybe.

"Nothing," just got to talking with the Doc, she was really nice. He gave Kurt his best 'dapper' smile, but he could tell it fell short. Luckily Kurt didn't seem to notice.

"Mine was the worst, he tried to give me a safe sex talk. Urgh." He delicately shuddered. "So I'm clean, just like I knew I would be."

"Yeah, me too."

**A/N** – _Please don't hate me for giving Blaine HIV. I find it really hard to write purely happy stories. As always I would love to hear what you guys think. _


	6. Avoidance

**Avoidance **

Blaine stirred as his phone rang loudly and obnoxiously to the tune of _Teenage Dream_, Kurt's ring tone. He lifted his head, currently buried underneath two pillows and a blanket, and ran a hand through his sleep-mussed curls. Blaine opened his eyes blearily and felt around on the nightstand until his fingers closed over the hard plastic outline of his phone. He debated internally for a second before deciding to answer the phone. "Hello."

"Hi sweetie, it's me. You sound like you just woke up."

"I did just wake up."

"It's past lunchtime."

"Is it? I hadn't noticed." The truth, if Blaine was willing to admit to himself, was that he hadn't noticed much since he received his test results a week ago.

"Do you want to come over this afternoon?" Kurt sounded hopeful.

"I'd love to, but I have this thing that I really need to finish."

"Blaine Anderson – you are a horrible liar. If you really had something you needed to finish you wouldn't have spent half the day in bed. What's the matter with you? Why are you avoiding me?"

As always Kurt was able to see right through Blaine's phoney excuses. No – he hadn't told Kurt about the test results yet, or Burt or even his own parents. Blaine had been trying in vain to avoid Kurt all week and now his boyfriend was calling him out on it.

"Alright, I'll be over in about an hour." Blaine answered Kurt's earlier question. He was worried that Kurt would keep on the topic of avoidance, but was glad when the other boy conceded with a sigh.

"Okay, I'll see you soon. Love you."

"Mmm, you too."

Great, Blaine was screwed.

XxXx

As soon as Blaine reached the Hummel/Hudson residence Kurt flung the door open and pulled the older boy into a tight hug. As Kurt leaned in to kiss Blaine on the lips – he jerked away at the last moment so the kiss landed on his cheek instead. Thankfully Kurt didn't seem to notice anything weird and led Blaine inside.

Burt was laying on the sofa – Finn lounging in an armchair. They both greeted Blaine whole-heartedly. A greeting Blaine felt he didn't deserve. Kurt took his hand and Blaine resisted the urge to jerk away as the younger boy led him downstairs.

Again Kurt went in for the kiss and again Blaine pulled away. This time Kurt wasn't so oblivious.

"Is there something wrong Blaine? Did I do something wrong?"

Kurt looked almost tearful. Like it was his fault Blaine was acting like a jerk. Well it was Kurt's fault, but not in the way his boyfriend probably thought. Kurt's only fault was making Blaine fall so completely in love with him that he would do anything not to hurt him and anything not to lose him. Unfortunately at the moment those were two conflicting ideas. However, the love and need Blaine felt for Kurt seemed to outweigh the other conflict.

"No it's me. I think I – uh I'm coming down with a cold. I don't want to pass it on to you." Blaine lied.

"Oh."

"Do you want to maybe watch a movie?"

"Sure."

XxXx

As the opening scenes of _Titanic_ filled the reasonably large screen of Kurt's television he glanced over and appraised Blaine. His boyfriend seemed to be focussing too intently on a film both of them knew by heart. Kurt suspected Blaine was hiding something from him. He didn't know what yet, but the suspicion wouldn't fade. Blaine's odd behaviour of late certainly wasn't helping.

Come to think of it Blaine had been acting odd ever since they came back from the clinic. Kurt had wanted to celebrate their results by having some mind-blowing sex. However, when he proposed this to Blaine his boyfriend had said that maybe they should wait for a few days, let Burt know he could trust them again. After that Blaine had left as soon as possible and spent the rest of the week avoiding Kurt like the black plague.

XxXx

Two weeks later and the situation had not improved. Kurt felt like he barely had a boyfriend anymore. Every time Kurt tried to initiate a make-out session or even touch Blaine in the most innocent way the older boy would pull away, create some ridiculous excuse and flee the scene. It was like a reversal of the earlier days in their relationship when Kurt had been the squeamish one. Now Blaine was filling that role to a T. But why? Why was Blaine avoiding him?

XxXx

Another week and Blaine still had not worked up the courage to tell Kurt. He should have told him right away. Now it might be too late. Blaine couldn't even work up the courage to touch Kurt. He wanted to so badly, but the guilt that washed through him every time Kurt gave him a lustful stare or a caressing touch was too much. And every time Blaine fabricated some excuse so he could leave, because he knew that if he was alone with Kurt too long he would let things go to far.

This brought things back to the big issue hanging over Blaine's head like an anvil – he could infect Kurt at any time. And if he did Blaine knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself. The cutting may have stopped a long time ago but the predisposition to self-harm kept rearing its ugly head. He could end Kurt's life just as completely and quickly as he could end his own just by giving into the urges to make love to his boyfriend again.


	7. How Did We Get So Mean

**How Did We Get So Mean?**

It seemed like every Glee club member was cheerful except Kurt and Blaine. Kurt remembered how ecstatically happy he had been when Blaine transferred to McKinley to be with him at the beginning of senior year. Of course his super talented boyfriend had been accepted into the New Directions straight away. Now when Kurt looked at the older boy it brought him nothing but sadness.

"Okay everyone, this weeks topic –"

"Mr Shue, if I may?" Kurt interrupted his teacher before he could start babbling about their new topic.

"Yes Kurt?"

"I have something that I really need to sing. There's some feelings that I need to express which I don't think I can do any other way."

Mr Shuster examined Kurt's face and saw something in his expression that made him agree after only slight hesitation. "Of course, the floor is yours."

Kurt stood gracefully, handing a piece of sheet music to the pianist. He stood before the Glee club whose expressions ranged from confused to expectant of a good performance. Finally Kurt's eyes settled on Blaine. The older boy held and kept his gaze for the first time in a month.

The opening piano solo finished and Kurt began to sing – his blue eyes never leaving Blaine's hazel ones.

"_You used to hold the door for me  
>Now you can't wait to leave<br>You used to send me flowers  
>If you fucked up in my dreams<em>

_I used to make you laugh  
>With all the silly shit I did<br>But now you roll your eyes  
>And walk away and shake your head<em>

_When the spark has gone and the candles are out  
>And the song is done and there's no more sound<br>Whispers turn to yelling and I'm thinking_

_How did we get so mean?  
>How do we just move on?<br>How do you feel in the morning  
>When it comes and everything's undone?<br>Is it 'cause we wanna be free?_

_Well that's not me  
>Normally I'm so strong<br>I just can't wake up on the floor  
>Like a thousand times before<br>Knowing that forever won't be_

_I'm always sentimental when  
>I think of how it was<br>When love was sweet and new  
>And we just couldn't get enough<em>

_The shower it reminds me  
>You'd undress me with your eyes<br>And now you never touch me  
>Yeah you tell me that you're tired<em>

_You know I get so sad when it all goes bad  
>And all you think about is all the fun you had<br>And all those sorries ain't never gonna mean a thing, oh_

_I know we said some things that we can never take back  
>It's like a train wreck just trying to hit the right track<br>We opened up the wine and we just let it breathe  
>But we should've drank it down while it was still sweet<br>It all goes bad eventually_

_Now do we stay together 'cause _

_We're scared to be alone?  
>We got so used to this abuse<br>It kind of feels like home_

_But my baby, I just really wanna know_

_How did we get so mean?  
>How do we just move on?<br>How do you feel in the morning  
>When it comes and everything's undone?<br>Is it 'cause we wanna be free?_

_Well that's not me  
>Normally I'm so strong<br>I just can't wake up on the floor  
>Like a thousand times before<br>Knowing that forever won't be."_

As the last few notes filtered softly through the choir room Kurt gave Blaine a small, sad smile and walked slowly from the room without a word.

"What was that?" Rachel asked of no-one in particular.

"I think that was Kurt breaking up with me." Blaine answered sadly, his voice coming low and choked.

Blaine sat stunned for another moment as the Glee kids buzzed the information back and forth in hushed whispers. Their speculations as to what could have happened between the club's golden couple fell on deaf ears. Thoughts whirled around in Blaine's head before the most important came to the forefront and he raced out of the choir room and after Kurt.

Blaine heard Kurt before he saw the younger boy. He was slumped on the ground – back resting against the hard metal of the grungy lockers. Tears tracking down his pale face. Soft sobs reached Blaine's ears as he strolled down the hallway toward him.

"Go away, Blaine. I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Kurt, what's going on? Did you just break up with me?"

"Yes. I'm glad you got the message – you always were intelligent."

"But why – I though every thing was going well? I love you." While the first part of that statement may not be entirely true the second part certainly was.

"Fuck you, Blaine. I don't want to hear that you love me. You're a lying sack of shit!"

"What?" Now Blaine was really confused and taken aback. He rarely ever heard Kurt swear – apart from in the bedroom – and certainly not at him.

"I know you're having an affair."

"I'm not having an –"

"Oh – don't try to deny it. You've been distant for weeks. You won't even touch me anymore. Just admit it – you've been seeing someone else on the side and you won't break up with me because you're scared you'll hurt my feelings or something. You were never good at being the bad guy."

"Kurt, listen to me – I'm not having an affair. I love you."

With that Kurt lunged to his feet and slapped Blaine across the face. The blow seemed to hang in the air with a resounding whack. Blaine lifted a hand to his stinging cheek, staring at Kurt in shock.

"I don't want to hear it Blaine!"

Kurt took off down the corridor. This broke Blaine out of his revere and he raced after the younger boy. He tried to grab Kurt's arm, but the younger boy pulled out of his grip.

"Kurt!" Blaine was getting frustrated now.

"No."

"Kurt – please listen to me," Blaine whined. The new tone seemed to touch something within Kurt and his steps finally stuttered to a halt.

"Fine. You have two minutes." He crossed his arms and waited for Blaine to start.

The older boy shot Kurt a relieved smile before his face fell again. "Thank you."

Kurt nodded, still not looking happy about the current situation.

"First off – I'm not having an affair. I promise you. I love you more than I can say, and that's part of the reason I've been avoiding you. There's something I haven't told you." This felt like déjà vu, reminiscent of their conversation a few months ago about Blaine's days of self-harm.

"Another story of your past huh." Kurt seemed to have noticed the resemblance also.

"Kind of. It's about the test results."

"You said yours were clean. Were you lying?"

"Yes."

"Oh, this is unbelievable. Why should I trust you about not having an affair if you lied about your test results? You said you were a virgin – did you lie about that too?"

"No. Kurt I –"

"Well how else would have you contracted something if you hadn't been cheating on me with anything that moved –"

"I have HIV." Okay, didn't mean to blurt that out.

Kurt's rant cut off. He looked lost for words.

"I didn't cheat on you. At first I couldn't even figure out how I got it. But I think I've worked it out now."

"Pray tell." Kurt still looked disbelieving.

Blaine looked pained; he really didn't want to say what he knew he had to. With a sigh he began. "I told you that when I was younger I had a problem with self harm. Well there were other things apart from the cutting. One of the only friends I had at that time was a drug addict. Heroin. And one day I thought, in all my infinite wisdom, that it would be a good idea to try it."

Kurt's mouth opened in a surprised 'O'. Blaine? Drugs?

Blaine saw Kurt's unbelieving expression, but pressed on with his story regardless. "I wasn't in a good mindset in those days. I wasn't thinking straight. I was just looking for a way to feel – and if possible to feel good. This guy was always going on about how good heroin was – how you felt great while you were on it. Rule number one in life – never trust a junkie. I was just going to snort it but he said if you're going to snort it you might as well mainline. So I did. I spent months injecting that stuff into my veins – I didn't care who I was sharing needles with. It was making me feel good again and that's all I cared about.

"I guess I was lucky in one respect. I never got truly addicted like some people do. The withdrawal was horrible, but possible for me. I could stop using whenever I felt like it. Eventually I decided it wasn't helping and I gave it up for good. But not before I contracted HIV from one of the other users.

"I'm so sorry Kurt. That's why I've been avoiding you. I didn't want to lose you. I know I should let you go – we've been lucky so far, but I could infect you at any time."

"Blaine." Kurt put a manicured finger to Blaine's lips, halting his apology. "I'm not going anywhere. We've survived so much. People live in relationships like this all the time. If they can do it, we can do it too."

**A/N** _– For those who are interested this note is an explanation about how I came up with this story. This chapter was my original idea and I developed the story backwards from here. I had a stroke of inspiration one day about Kurt singing the song 'Mean' – by P!nk – to Blaine as a break-up song. I then developed a back story around this scenario so that the lyrics would be relevant, which involved Blaine not touching Kurt anymore because he is HIV+. _

_The lyrics to Mean fit in with Kurt's character talking about being strong, which Kurt always comes across as, but when you look deeper it's really an act. 'We opened up the wine and we just let it breathe' can be related to the start of their relationship when they were friends for so long and they only had a short time to be passionate with each other 'we should have drank it down while it was still sweet'. And while the line about abuse isn't used in a physical context Kurt does believe Blaine is cheating on him – so it's emotional abuse. And the previous line of 'do we stay together 'cause we're scared to be alone,' again fits perfectly because Kurt is scared that if he gives up on Blaine he might not find love like that again._


	8. Longtime Companion

**Longtime Companion **

**A/N** _– I should have an excuse for taking so long to update – but I don't. I just couldn't find my muse. I think she went on holiday. But she's back now. Enjoy. _

It wasn't working. Blaine could feel it and he was sure Kurt must sense it too. They were teenage boys deeply in love, but they couldn't act like teenage boys in love. Blaine had vehemently refused to have sex. If they were going to continue this relationship he wanted to take every precaution possible.

XxXx

After their fight and Blaine's confession in the school halls, Kurt had set both of them up to attend a counseling session designed for people and their partners living with HIV. Blaine noted with some derision that like many other support groups it had a cheerful upbeat name, and so it was with some reluctance that he had attended 'Above and Beyond' with Kurt for the first time last night.

The meeting had been a few towns over and for that Blaine was grateful. He had finally gotten around to telling his parents and Burt and Carole last week, but he wasn't ready for everyone to know yet. His parents had received the news in the same way they received all Blaine's unfortunate news from the bullying, to the cutting, to the 'Mom, Dad – I'm gay. A sense of mild surprise and the sentiment of 'we're not around often enough for it to be our problem.'

Telling Burt and Carole had been slightly, read exceptionally, more difficult. Blaine was sweating bullets and even Kurt seemed out of touch with his normal composed self. However, they had both taken the news better than expected. After Burt had hit the roof Kurt managed to coax him into listening to the whole story, adding that he loved Blaine and they were being careful. Carole had simply given Blaine a hug – which he tried not to flinch away from – squeezing him tightly and assuring him that they would help in any way possible. As it turns out she had a brother whose first wife died of AIDS.

The meeting had gone okay. Along with Blaine and Kurt there were five other couples and three singles in attendance. Of the couples, two were gay and the group seemed fairly open with this fact. Information was given and by the end of the night Blaine felt he had a better understanding of his disease.

When they got home – Blaine was staying at Kurt's for the night, as it was much closer to the meeting place than his own house – Kurt had tried to initiate a make-out session. Blaine had initially been hesitant, but Kurt reminded him of a fact they had learnt at the meeting. The rate of transmission of HIV through saliva is negligible to nothing, and finally Blaine gave in.

They started slowly, reveling in the feeling of skin on skin, wet lips touching. A luxury Blaine hadn't allowed himself for a long time now. Kurt moaned into Blaine's mouth and the kiss abruptly changed from innocent to heated. Kurt pushed Blaine onto his bed, hopping on himself and moving to straddled Blaine's waist. Blaine's eyes closed and he panted heavily as Kurt leaned down to capture his lips.

Blaine could feel himself growing hard and the way Kurt was positioned on him revealed that his boyfriend was too. Without thinking Blaine rolled them pushing Kurt into the mattress and grinding their hips together. As one of Kurt's hands broke free of Blaine's hair caressed down towards the older boy's crotch Blaine suddenly froze.

"No! I'm not doing this!"

Kurt was suddenly by himself on the bed, hot, flushed and mussed up clothes making him look irresistible to Blaine.

"Blaine?" Kurt questioned as the older boy slumped to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees.

Blaine let out a quiet moan – an agonized sound. Kurt sat up and appraised his boyfriend. He looked like a child sitting on the floor – so vulnerable.

"Blaine, what's wrong?"

"I want you so bad."

"So come up here and get me." Kurt supplied teasingly.

"Don't you understand? I can't. I can't do this to you. What if I passed on the HIV? What then? How could I ever forgive myself?"

"So we won't have sex." Kurt said, as if the solution was so simple. Blaine said as much. "But it is a simple solution – we just won't have sex. I – I can live with that. We'll be like those guys in Longtime Companion."

Blaine snorted in slight humour, "didn't everyone die in that movie?"

Kurt ignored Blaine and slid off the bed to sit beside him. He wrapped an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders. Blaine sighed and leaned in to Kurt against his better judgment.

"I meant what I said, Blaine. We will make this work. We can still be intimate –"

Blaine gave him a pointed look and Kurt sighed before continuing.

" – We just won't go all the way. Okay?"

Kurt made it sound so simple, so right and despite himself Blaine made a noise of agreement. Kurt smiled happily and moved to press another kiss to Blaine's slightly red lips. Blaine allowed it for a second before gently pushing Kurt away.

"How about we watch a movie tonight instead?"

Kurt's face fell ever so slightly, but Blaine pretended not to notice. Mirroring Blaine's reaction a moment before Kurt gave out a grunt of agreement and pushed of the floor. Blaine remained for a second longer before following suit. Kurt flopped down on the bed again as Blaine went to his boyfriend's sizable DVD collection.

He made his selection carefully – no Disney movies tonight, no films with lots of sex (that would just be depressing in their current situation). Finally he happened across the perfect film.

In the time Blaine had taken to make his selection Kurt had removed his day clothes and changed into a loose shirt and a pair of sweat pants, which Blaine noticed actually belonged to him.

"Are those my pants?"

Kurt glanced down at himself and smiled. "Oh, yeah. You left them here a while ago and they're really comfortable so I wear them to bed occasionally. Sorry, I did mean to return them."

"Don't worry," Blaine smiled, glad the awkwardness from before was passing and they were getting back into their usual carefree banter. "They look better on you anyway." Blaine shucked his own clothes, a redressed in a style similar to Kurt's before hopping into bed with his boyfriend.

"What movie did you pick," Kurt enquired as Blaine hit play on the remote.

"_Philadelphia_."


	9. Moving On, Moving Forward

**Moving On, Moving Forward**

Senior graduation was approaching quickly. Three weeks to go, two weeks, one. Exams were over and all the seniors were enjoying their last few days of high school before being thrust out into the real world.

On the second to last day Mr Shue threw the Glee kids a goodbye/see you next year party. Of the original New Directions and Blaine most of them would be graduating this year. The graduation involving most of the members moving all over the country. Teary goodbyes and promises to stay in touch were given. Plans for next year were revealed.

Blaine and Kurt would be moving to New York with Rachel and Finn. The latter finally getting their act together in the last few months of senior year. Kurt was going to get a degree in journalism and work at a fashion magazine while aiming to do theatre on the side. Blaine was going to enroll in performing arts and join the long list of out of work actors while continuing to write and play music.

Rachel, of course, was aiming straight for Broadway. "As soon as they see my talent they'll ask me to start right away. I won't have time for University." Finn, as always, looked slightly confused and bemused by the whole spectacle – as yet unsure of what he was going to do himself.

Quinn was moving to San Francisco with her mother, Puck was staying behind in Lima to run his own pool cleaning business. Their relationship had not survived the test of time. Similarly Mercedes would be moving to Indiana with her new boyfriend Harry, Sam of course still had a year to go before he graduated himself – likewise, their relationship did not go the distance.

Mike and Tina had joined an all-Asian band and were going on tour next year. Artie and Brittany, both still to graduate, had unsurprisingly split up once Brittany realized her true feelings for Santana who would be sticking around Lima until her girlfriend graduated. Several people had already hinted she might be staying in Lima for a long time if that was the case, but her bitch glares had shut them up pretty quickly.

Enjoying the food, snatches of singing and general happy atmosphere, Kurt flopped down next to Blaine who was sitting apart from the action. Blaine looked like he was contemplating something, staring off into space and jumping when he noticed Kurt beside him.

"Hi," he said lamely and Kurt laughed at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Not enjoying the party," Kurt enquired half-joking, half-serious.

"No, I am. Just thinking about something – got distracted, sorry."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothi –" Blaine began, before changing his mind mid sentence. "I'll tell you later. Let's just enjoy ourselves."

Blaine jumped up and walked over to Rachel, snatching her away from Finn and whispering in her ear. She grinned and the two cleared the floor before starting another, thankfully more sober this time, rendition of _Don't You Want Me. _Kurt laughed as Blaine made a fool of himself, dancing worse than usual and trying to trip Rachel solely for Kurt's amusement. Soon the entire club was joining in.

XxXx

As the party began to wind down Blaine motioned for Kurt to finish his goodbyes and follow his outside. Everyone chanted their farewells as Kurt and Blaine exited the choir room with a wave.

"So, are you going to tell me what you were thinking about earlier?"

"Yeah, I am actually."

"You better not have been thinking that you want to buy some gaudy piece of furniture for our new flat."

Blaine chuckled softly before his smile dimmed. He thought back over everything he wanted to say, that he needed to say. But, oh God, Kurt was thinking about them living together in an apartment with crappy furniture and Blaine almost gave in and said something else instead. But this needed to come out, needed to be said, now.

Blaine motioned for Kurt to sit down by the lockers in their deserted hallway. A part of Blaine's brain noted this was the same bank of lockers Kurt had been slumped against before accusing him of cheating. The same ones they had both sat by on Prom night after Kurt's name was called out as prom queen.

Kurt sat gracefully crossing his legs and delicately resting his head against the metal. Blaine sat beside him folding his arms around his knees and appearing to Kurt like a lost little boy.

"Kurt, I don't think I should go to New York with you."

"What – since when do you not want us move to New York?"

Kurt didn't understand the implication of Blaine's words. He tried again. "Kurt, I want you to move to New York, but I'm not going with you. I think we should part ways." Blaine said as gently as possible.

"What?"

"Kurt, I want you to move on, move forward. I'm holding you back. You deserve so much better than what I can give you. I love you, but I also want you to be happy and I know that if you stay with me you won't be."

Kurt began to protest, but Blaine held up a hand to cut him off.

"You won't be," he continued. "Maybe we could get by for a little while, but I know you want more and I'm too afraid. I said this a long time ago, but it's still true now – I don't have the courage that you have Kurt. Never have, never will. You have the courage to go on without me. I know you love me and I love you so, so much. This is going to sound so clichéd – that's why I think we should break up. I want you to be happy Kurt. I want you to have the life you won't be able to if we stay together.

"You're going to move to New York and be a big star on Broadway, but you're going to do it without me."

Blaine unwrapped his arms and moved forward so he was kneeling in front of a dumbfounded Kurt. He knew he was pushing his luck after that speech, but he needed the contact. He pulled Kurt into a gentle hug, wrapping his arms around the younger boy's waist and burying his face in the crook between Kurt's neck and shoulder. Breathing in the scent of this beautiful boy for what Blaine suspected would be the last time.

Eventually Kurt raised his arms as well. Holding Blaine tightly to him he whispered in the older boy's ear. "I guess this is it."

Silent tears welled and fell from Kurt's eyes. The wetness on his shoulder told him that Blaine was crying too.

It couldn't be over yet. It couldn't be.

* * *

><p><strong>AN** – _And it's not. This is not the last chapter yet, although it may seem like it. I have plans to write two more chapters to conclude this story. If you have read this far I congratulate you and encourage you to finish the story. I would love to hear what you guys think – so once again reviews are greatly encouraged and appreciated._

_P.S – I have no idea which characters are graduating ahead of others, so I made an educated guess. _


	10. Ten Years Later

**Ten Years Later**

Kurt fumbled for his phone as it rang obnoxiously loud on his bedside table, vibrating against the wood. He glanced at the glowing green numbers on his alarm clock. 2:30 am. Who the hell was calling at this time? The number was unknown. Kurt sat up, swinging his legs out of bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping body beside him. He padded into the hallway and answered the phone just before it went to voice mail.

"Hello."

"Hi, uh, is this Kurt?" An unfamiliar male voice replied on the other end of the line.

"It is. May I ask who's calling?"

"Oh right," the voice sounded flustered. "Look, the thing is – you don't know me but I'm friends with Blaine and he wouldn't want me to call you, but he needs to see you."

Kurt's sleep deprived brain struggled to comprehend this tirade of information. He picked up on the most important word.

"Blaine?"

"Yes, he uh – he's too proud to call you himself, but he wants to see you."

"In case you haven't realized," Kurt said rather harshly to still anonymous other party, "It is the middle of the night. I haven't spoken to Blaine in years. I don't know how you got this number, but I'm sure if Blaine wants to call me he will do it himself. Goodnight."

"No! No wait – please don't hang up. Blaine's in the hospital. He's in a bad way. I don't think he is going to make it much longer. I know that you two haven't spoken in a while, and Blaine won't admit it, but he really wants to see you one last time."

Kurt felt tears prick his eyes as soon as the mysterious man mentioned to word hospital. Kurt knew it would happen eventually and even though he hadn't been in contact with Blaine for a long time he still felt for the older boy. His first boyfriend, his first true love.

"What's your name?" Kurt asked.

"Eric Peters."

"Okay Eric, I'll come and see Blaine. Where is he?"

"The Grace Memorial hospital in Seattle."

"I'll come as soon as I can."

"Thank you."

Kurt hung up the phone and went back into his bedroom. Placing the phone gently on the table Kurt sat on the bed. Head in hands he allowed himself to think about Blaine, properly think about him, for the first time in what seemed like forever.

At the end of senior year Kurt and Blaine had parted ways. Kurt moved to New York and Blaine moved, God only knows where – well Kurt guessed it must have been Seattle. After Blaine left Kurt had broken down. All he could remember of those few months after the break-up was that he had cried. A lot.

At first Kurt couldn't see the reasoning behind Blaine's decision. He still wanted to be with him. He didn't care if Blaine was sick. He was the most amazing person in the world and Kurt would take whatever he could out of his relationship with the older boy. Now, after years to contemplate the decision Kurt could see that the most amazing thing Blaine had ever done for him was let him go.

Kurt was a successful fashion magazine editor and had done a few stints on Broadway, which is where he met James. The second most amazing person in the world.

Kurt twisted the slim wedding band around his finger as he examined his sleeping husband. The very husband that had encouraged him to keep in contact with Blaine, and they had talked a few times over the years. But these times were few and far between. Obviously just enough for Blaine to still have Kurt's current phone number.

Kurt wondered is that Eric guy was more significant to Blaine than a friend. He sighed and placed a hand on James' sleep warm flesh.

James stirred. "Kurt, whaz goin' on?" he mumbled.

"I just got a phone call," Kurt replied, laying down beside him.

"And you felt it was appropriate to wake me at," he glanced at the clock, "three in the morning to tell me? Good for you honey, a phone call even later that the ones you usually get. Who was it – if it was that intern of yours again I'm gonna kill him."

James began to doze off again, not waiting for an answer.

"It was Blaine."

That woke him up.

"Blaine?" James repeated, sitting up and giving full attention to his husband.

"Well, not Blaine. A friend of his. He said Blaine was in hospital. He wants me to come to Seattle to see him."

"Is he – "

James didn't finish the sentence, but Kurt knew where he was heading.

"Yeah, he's in a bad way. I think I should go. But only if you're okay with it."

"Of course –"

"No, just wait before you agree. I know you've been supportive in the past, but that was for chats over the phone and the odd email. This is me flying across the country to be with my sick and quite possibly dying ex-boyfriend."

"You need to do this Kurt."

"That's all I needed to hear."

Kurt pressed his lips to James'. Soft and sensual, it didn't lead anywhere but it was nice. Another luxury Blaine had pushed Kurt toward, the ability to touch his partner whenever he wanted. But that was just making Kurt think about Blaine kissing him and that wasn't good. Kurt pulled away.

"I'll leave tomorrow. Do you want to come?"

"As much as I'd like to go with you to meet your quite possibly dying first love of your life, I have work. And like I said before, I think this is something you need to do Kurt. By yourself."

XxXx

So Kurt was on an early morning plane to Seattle. Singe suitcase in the cargo hold and fashionable carry-on luggage in the overhead, phone glued to his ear talking his new intern Steve through what not to do while he was gone.

XxXx

The cab ride to the hospital seemed long, but it was really only five minutes from Kurt's hotel. It must have just been the last ten years catching up with him in that short space of time. Kurt felt like he was seventeen years old again, saying goodbye to Blaine in the flesh for the last time.

XxXx

Eric spotted Kurt at once from Blaine's many descriptions over the years.

"Kurt."

Kurt turned around at the sound of his name being called. Looking, puzzled, in Eric's direction. Eric called his name again and Kurt managed to match the sound of his name being called to the tall redhead man across the waiting room.

Kurt walked toward him, maneuvering through the crowded room. "Eric I assume."

"Yeah, nice to finally meet you." He held his hand out for the fashionable man to shake. "Blaine's upstairs. I told him you were coming but he didn't believe me. He's a little out of it."

Kurt nodded as he followed Eric to the elevators.

"Just – prepare yourself. He doesn't look the same as he used to. But he's still the same guy underneath."

"Okay," Kurt replied noncommittally.

XxXx

Eric opened the door for Kurt allowing him to walk through before shutting it softly behind them. Eric walked over to the bed.

"Blaine, wake up. Kurt's here. I told you he would come."

Kurt walked closer to the bed as Blaine stirred. Kurt let out a soft gasp as he laid eyes on Blaine for the first time in ten years.

The man half sitting, half laying in the white hospital bed was almost unrecognisable. The unflattering hospital gown did nothing to disguise the fact that Blaine was skin and bones. He had lost so much weight he looked like a walking, well sitting, skeleton. He had cropped his curly locks close and a medium beard adorned his face. His skin was deathly pale, eyes sunken with bruise like shadows etched permanently beneath them.

"Hi Blaine."

Eric moved away from the bed allowing Kurt to take his place beside Blaine. Kurt grabbed Blaine's cold hand and stroked small circles onto the palm with his thumb.

"Kurt, hi."


	11. Last Goodbyes

**Last Goodbyes**

This was it. Ten years of waiting and the day Kurt knew had to come was finally here. It was time to say goodbye to Blaine. The funeral was in a couple of hours and Kurt was sitting in his hotel room watching the second hand go around on the tacky wall clock. He thought back to a couple of days ago when he had laid eyes on Blaine againg. The shock he had felt seeing the man he once loved as nothing more than a shadow of himself.

XxXx

"Kurt, hi." Blaine's voice was weak. The rasp almost hidden beneath the beeping of the heart monitor. But even through all the pain he must be in Blaine smiled at Kurt like he was the only thing that mattered in the world. The same smile Kurt remembered only too well from when they were together.

Kurt smiled back and sat delicately on the rough hospital blanket, mindful of all the wires connecting Blaine to various machines.

The door closed with a soft snap. Eric had left the room leaving the other two men alone to catch up. And catch up is what they did.

XxXx

Looking back on that last conversation now and Kurt was beyond eternally grateful that Eric had decided to call him. Knowing that Blaine had done something with his life. Knowing he had fought his disease tooth and nail until finally, in the end, it caught up with him gave Kurt the closure he needed to be able to say goodbye.

A horn sounded outside and Kurt glanced out the window to see Eric's black Suburban below. He could feel the tears welling up again. A firm hand caressed his back and Kurt moved to hug James. His husband had flown in yesterday after Kurt rang him in tears at the news of Blaine's passing.

"We'd better go downstairs." James said, grabbing Kurt's manicured hand and hoisting him to his feet. James had been apprehensive about attending Blaine's funeral but Kurt had convinced him to go, saying he needed James for moral support. Now James could see that this was a good idea. Without him there he doubted Kurt would have been able to leave the hotel room at all.

It hurt him to see his husband so distraught. Even more so when Kurt was bemoaning the loss of the man he once loved – still loved. James knew it was true. Kurt may be in love with him, but a little piece of his heart would always belong to Blaine. They were once more than simply boyfriends, or even best friends, they were soul mates.

James led Kurt downstairs and helped him into Eric's car. He could see that Eric looked just as heartbroken as Kurt.

They drove to the funeral in silence.

XxXx

As the minister droned on Kurt couldn't help but feel that this kind of funeral would not be what Blaine wanted. He may not have had much contact with Blaine over the last few years but he didn't think the other man would have changed that much.

Kurt and James sat with Eric to one side with all of Blaine's friends who Kurt had met briefly before the ceremony. Blaine's family, including his stony-faced parents sat to the other side. An invisible but impenetrable line dividing the respectable mourners from those who would truly miss Blaine as more than an estranged relative now that he was gone.

As the minister finished his speech of the generic things one says at a funeral he invited Blaine's parents to say a few words. They politely shook their heads as Kurt glared at them from the true mourners side. Even now that their son was gone they still couldn't get over their differences with him. At least they looked somewhat upset.

The minister turned instead to Eric who also shook his head, this time out of necessity. Kurt could see the red headed man looked like he was about to have an emotional break down. So Kurt let go of James' hand and stood up. Eric turned to him and mouthed 'thank you' as Kurt maneuvered his way to the front and took the microphone.

He took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Most of you don't know me. My name is Kurt Hummel and I knew Blaine from a long time ago. When I met him he was this amazing person. So strong and sure of who he was. He helped me through a lot of my own personal struggles without asking for anything in return, because that's the kind of person Blaine was. Kind, gentle, always cheerful and always saying the right thing.

"He also showed more courage than any one I've ever met. He had the courage to allow me to live a life without him and to go on living his life to the fullest potential.

"I know Blaine loved music more than anything. So this song is for him.

"_I'm on my knees  
>only memories<br>are left for me to hold_

_Don't know how  
>but I'll get by<br>Slowly pull myself together_

_There's no escape  
>So keep me safe<br>This feels so unreal_

_Nothing comes easily  
>Fill this empty space<br>Nothing is like it seems  
>Turn my grief to grace<em>

_I feel the cold  
>Loneliness unfold<br>Like from another world_

_Come what may  
>I wont fade away<br>But I know I might change_

_Nothing comes easily  
>Fill this empty space<br>Nothing is like it was  
>Turn my grief to grace<em>

_Nothing comes easily  
>Where do I begin?<br>Nothing can bring me peace  
>I've lost everything<br>I just want to feel your embrace._

"Goodbye Blaine. We'll always love you."

**A/N** –_ That is the end. I hope you guys don't hate me too much and I hope I did this last chapter justice. I'm one of those people who dislike fan fictions always having a happy ending because in life things don't always turn out for the best. But I hope you can be happy that Kurt is happy and that Blaine still lived his life. I my mind Blaine and Eric, who also has HIV, were happy together for some years before Blaine's death. The song that Kurt sings for Blaine is "_Grace"_ by Kate Havenvik_.

_On a lighter note – if you like my writing style I have plans to write a Klaine college fic (in which I promise neither Kurt nor Blaine will die). Keep a lookout if you are interested._

_I'd also like to thank everyone who read this story and those who alerted or added to favourites. A special thank you to those who reviewed. If anyone has any comments now I would still love to read them and incorporate any feedback into my writing in the future._

_Thank you all again. ParadiseorPurgatory _


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